I have had many bosses in my life, but the ones I have now are by far the most unreasonable.
I went to one of my bosses in upper management (we will call him Jude), and I said, “Hey, I have this great idea for a team building activity. It will get us out of the office for awhile. It could be great for company morale. Let’s paint rocks! We haven’t done it for about two weeks!”
He said, “Great!”
I think, awesome, this is going to be great!
Mr. Jude took out the paint brushes, but since I’m in middle management, I had to do everything else — get out the paints, drop cloths, etc. I am also training three new upper-managers, and they can’t do ANYTHING for themselves (I KNOW you have worked with THOSE people before) so I had to get them all set up outside before we could begin.
My boss then decides he doesn’t want to paint rocks; he just wants to watch me do it. COME ON; why do all bosses do this? They never want to do any work; they just want to hover over my shoulder, drink juice, and play with their monkeys.
I get so excited; I am going to surprise my boss with the greatest rock ever! I spend a lot of time on the details and say, “Close your eyes for the surprise!”
He opens his eyes to a beautifully painted Superman rock, and I get this…sulking.
He says, “I thought you were going to paint me an Iron Man.” First of all, no you didn’t, because you had no idea until about two seconds ago that I was doing Superman. And second of all…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I was hurt.
He continues to sulk. (He literally walked around our office and did this.)
So, we go inside for minute and get a drink. I suggested we go back outside. He goes ahead of me, and I find him lovingly touching the Superman rock. I asked him if he likes the rock. He smiles big and said, “I love it.”
I grin ear to ear and can’t help thinking, this guy is a mind ninja.
Well, it’s 6 p.m., and I have been at work since 6 a.m., and I need a break. I am going to go act like I have to go to the bathroom and hang out in there for about six minutes.